Victim

I am a victim of my own doing.

Flying solo

I'm going to wait her out. The next time she comes home we are going to have this out and - you're still reading this? - we're going to get you straightened out, your head on right, your whole life will be reset and back on track. Something is leading you astray, child! Or is it *someone*?

Someone.

Who?

I. I think I know.

ABSOLUTELY NO JUSTIFICATION

Hope came home Saturday, while I was a way in LA.

She came home when I WAS NOT HOME?!

Not a call. Not an email. Not even a damned post on this blog, which I know you read, you little runaway.

I got your note. What a disgusting thing. Why do you hate me so much?

What an ordeal

Days in bed. I'm having terrible headaches. I think Hope called last night but I didn't answer the phone. It rang and rang and I wanted to smash that damn phone. But I couldn't find it. The phone seemed to ring all night. Didn't sleep, really. I just lay there. Pillow over my head. Trying to keep the noises out.

I got a call this morning. They want me back in the city. I don't know how I'm going to do a presentation in this condition.

Feeling ill

Raging damned headache after reading that crummy, affected, artificial, assumed, bogus, concocted, counterfeit, fabricated, false, fictitious, forged, fraudulent, invented, make-believe, mock, phony, pretended, pseudo, reproduction, sham, simulated, spurious - yes I did just LIFT dictionary.com's entire blasted list of synonyms for "fake".

As in nothing to see here. Move on.

I'm off to soothe my head with frozen peas and advil.

I

...would like to point out an old, aging and insignificant article brought to my attention once again.

Note, for one, how the so called relationship is linked to ESP and psi phenomena. I simply ask, what ESP? What psi phenomena? This is like grounding your argument on the existence of fairies in their correlation with unicorn birth rates.

To quote: "If his hypothesis is correct, conditions for evolutionary changes in human brain-wave patterns have now been established. Furthermore, variations in these patterns can produce mild to disastrous health and behavioural changes."

If. Hypothesis. Is correct. There is a lot of scary claptrap after the ifs, but lo! What big ifs.

It gets better: "Perhaps the planet communicates with us in this primal language of frequencies."

Hmmm. Mother Earth would like to have a chat.

"It should be borne in mind that if some signal conditions are harmful, then other conditions might be beneficial... The converse could also occur."

i.e., it could be anything!

And here's a fitting conclusion: "Consequently, no "expert" can produce numerical evidence to support an objection to Hainsworth's original hypothesis, since the only numerical values available are those favouring it."

They haven't collected enough data. So we can't disprove their claims. Of course they gloss over the fact that they can't prove their claims either.

You might want to note that Richard Alan Miller is a real life metaphysicist, parapsychologist and alternative agriculturalist. Iona Miller is a multimedia artist, hypnotherapist and (gasp) web author. Dauntless icons of emotionless science they are not.

This is exactly the sort of crap I have to put down every day!

Knock knock

Serena's there!

Wow. Just wow. Though the rain helped.

Jelena Jankovic has mojo

I'm going to swing off topic onto another topic I enjoy - tennis!

Does anyone else follow Wimbledon?

I have to admit, I admire a player who shows emotion. There are those who might look down on Jankovic's performance today because she tossed her racket in the grass. Ah! But who wouldn't in a game like that?

A 27 hit rally! A baseline war! A marathon! What a game.

In the end, they were both good sports.

Jankovic stole my heart today. I'd love for her to move on, but I think Henin has her number.

Fantastic and The Best

Amazing. I find it touching that some many people took the time to reply to my silly game. I haven't had a chance to look at all of them - I wanted to say thanks first. It brightens my day.

I've updated this: I wanted to put Mokey2rocks's post on the "top page".

Poster

Oh, and one more! This will blow your mind.

You Flare

But before I go!

Let's get back on topic. I wanted to post here about some of the cool images I've found online. I've sent up a few flares, but now it's your turn. Post your favorite solar images or movies in the comments.

See if you can surprise me.

Exit, right

I'm heading out of town tomorrow for the day on a business trip. I might post again while I'm away.

Shameless

Who are you to play with my emotions?

Maybe I'm being too forward. Maybe this was all a bad idea. I'm being too forward.

It's not like she's lost. She's a teenager doing thoughtless teenager things, for heaven's sake! But she'll be back, that I know.

I'm so drained. Blasted damned headache is back. Blasted damned internet is out to get me. I've got enough on my plate. I've got real work to do.

But mark my words. My daughter is not your problem.

Aggravation

I have already purchased a pack of generic Ibuprofen and have been popping pills all day. If it's not my head aching, it's my back.

There is something decidedly strange about the internet. Or at least, about blogging. I can say things here, into the black ether, that I wouldn't say in public. Or even in private. I'm saying them to strangers. To this following I have.

Why it's so easy to talk here? So many other forms of communication are difficult.

I'll share this much. It's probably obvious.. My daughter, my only daughter, does not care to talk with me anymore. I won't get into the details. It's been a challenging year for her and she's been making mistake after mistake. She's trended towards irresponsibility for years now. Part of me realizes that going to college is a right of passage - this is her coming of age. But I don't... I don't see it. Does that make sense? She's a child! She'd not old enough to drink, or even be drafted. She should be worried about her grades. Or should have been. She should have gotten a summer job, rather than heading off God knows where for weeks on end. She could...

She should listen to me. I know better. I've lived.

Coulda
Shoulda.
Woulda.

Right.

No then yes, yes then no

I feel like I'm losing Hope, literally and figuratively.